Sorry guys, I have had a bad brain week. Just nothing is working. I can barely get out of bed. My activities of daily living are for shit. Anhedonia has reared its ugly head. One dare not call it depression, but that seems the aptest term. I spoke to my psychiatrist earlier today, and he suggested a light therapy lamp. I have one. I suppose I will start using it. Couldn’t hurt.
I have a lot more to say about the painstakingly measured, conservative, and guarded approach my doctor takes to treating my debilitating depression, but I do not have the energy to rant about it further today. You know, ‘cause of the depression.
I have so many things I want to write to y’all about, but I just do not have the bandwidth right now. I am not giving up. I’m just so damned tired.
Nov 20, 2020Liked by Jeremy D. Nichols aka #1 Bronc
I just want to encourage you to try your lamp -- I got mine out of the attic and it has improved my mood a lot. Your writing has been really interesting for me and this is one thing I can say has helped me.
Nov 20, 2020Liked by Jeremy D. Nichols aka #1 Bronc
Sending as much energy as I’m able through these internets. I’ve been feeling really cranky and annoyed at EVERYTHING. (Apologies to The Husband) and I’m trying not to run away but just let it course through me and hopefully out the other side.
Nov 20, 2020Liked by Jeremy D. Nichols aka #1 Bronc
Recently I spent several weeks really exhausted and unproductive, and it turned out to be high blood pressure, which only got my attention a a month into it when I got dizzy and checked it just on a whim and it was scary high. I was trying to overcome it with will power because I just assume all my dysfunction is emotional.
Bad brain week.
I’m sorry things are so hard and in awe of your courage in being so open. I don’t even tell myself the really bad shit in my brain.
I just want to encourage you to try your lamp -- I got mine out of the attic and it has improved my mood a lot. Your writing has been really interesting for me and this is one thing I can say has helped me.
Warm thoughts to you... and do try the lamp. Doesn't hurt, sometimes helps. At least it sometimes helps me when I'm in the depths.
Sending as much energy as I’m able through these internets. I’ve been feeling really cranky and annoyed at EVERYTHING. (Apologies to The Husband) and I’m trying not to run away but just let it course through me and hopefully out the other side.
Recently I spent several weeks really exhausted and unproductive, and it turned out to be high blood pressure, which only got my attention a a month into it when I got dizzy and checked it just on a whim and it was scary high. I was trying to overcome it with will power because I just assume all my dysfunction is emotional.
Anhedonia not “a hedonic”. Yikes. 😜
Kathleen Norris wrote about a hedonic tracing its roots from monastic life to today. Best wishes for you. Find your happy then do your happy.