Benchley's Law strikes again

On to-do lists and other works of fiction by Jeremy D. Nichols

Those who have been reading this blog since its inception know that I am an avid believer in Benchley’s law:

“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.” Robert Benchley (1889-1945)

I have a daunting to-do list that I made for this long weekend, and I have done precisely none of it. I did just start a load of laundry, so I’ve not been entirely idle. Three more loads to go, and I can mark one thing off my list. One down, fifteen to go. One of the tasks that I gave myself is a fun one that I have been putting off for eleven months. Several years ago (it was October of 2017), I decided to buy the ZZ Top album Tres Hombres and frame the gatefold art within. The art within is a photo of a gigantic Rococo Tex-Mex feast. Maybe y’all have seen it before:

Legend says that a tame wolf ate this entire meal right after the photo was snapped.

I bought the album for about ten bucks and the cheapest frame on Amazon that I could find—I want to say it was around twelve dollars. I hung it up in the kitchens of our last two apartments. It really tied the room(s) together. Whenever I would get homesick for the food of Texas, I could look at this objet d’art and get even more homesick. Here is a picture of me with the framed art right before I hung it up the first time:

You can tell how long ago this was because my beard was still pretty dark.

When we moved to this current apartment in April of 2021, this treasure got lost during the move, and I’ve never been able to find it. I’m sure it is in some box in our storage unit, but I’ll be damned if I know which. I looked several times, but finally gave up. Last June, I decided to replace the art and frame. Vinyl records are priced obscenely high now; I paid $19.99 plus shipping and tax for this copy. A frame from the same company that I bought before costs almost four times what I paid in 2017. I realize that inflation exists, but I’m still going to be a grouchy old man about it. I would hate to see what the two items would cost now after tariff nonsense and idiotic war bullshit are factored in.

It’s me. I’m in the picture.

I think sitting down to write a post today has inspired me to frame the album cover, and maybe—and that is a big maybe—I’ll hang it today as well. In the interim, I would like to tell y’all a bit about an exciting pilot project that I will soon be starting at work. I cannot give too many details away, but I will be seeing patients with opioid use disorder on one of the behavioral health floors of my hospital very soon. It will be a sixty-day pilot program. If all goes well, I will be seeing patients with OUD on all of the adult behavioral health floors. I’ve been advocating for this expansion of my role for more than a year. There have been many changes in the leadership of my hospital, and one of the gatekeepers who was not interested in having my service expand from the medical/surgical floors has retired. The new leadership is very excited to have me work with the behavioral health patients. My boss has been supportive and really advocated for this on my behalf. I have some more training to do in safety protocols and other facets of working on the behavioral health floors, but I should start seeing patients in the next few weeks. I am very excited about this project. Wish me luck in this new endeavor. I will let y’all know how it goes. Here is the photo my boss took to add to my bio to introduce me to the staff on the behavioral health floors.

My beard has almost gone fully white by now.

Thank you, as always, for reading.

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